If only...

i wonder what chickens would think if they knew what we were doing with their eggs.

i should have paid more attention when I was in hawaii.

i should pay more attention, in general, I think. Either more or less. Ehh, maybe it doesn't matter how attentive you are. It is or it isn't. Most of the time.

I can't stand Sleater-Kinney. I mean, the music rocks. Just shut up already. If it was Stephen malkmus singing I would probably love it.

i think i dont want to love anyone because i dont want to hate them. that's messed up.

I can't believe this

Today, a shark ate a man off the coast of California. The man was 66 years old. The details haven't been released yet. I just saw some footage on CNN.

This completes the trifecta.

Yesterday, all I could think, talk, or write about was the stuff about bears, sharks, or gators. I even remember saying to mari 'now all we need is a shark attack, but i think we're a little early for that'. haha. CREEP!

does it go without saying that i didnt really want any of these folks to be eaten by beasts?

yeah. I can't believe that. Awesome. I'm going to post some cool shark photos in a minute. maybe.

GrVy WkNd

i need a little nap. outside on a blanket.
if the weather tomorrow is similar to the weather today, you will find me relaxing at the Beach, a.k.a. Schenley Park-Flagstaff hill. That is where I need to be. I don't think i see enough grass. mostly pavement with gum & spit everywhere. that is what there is to look at downtown. and busses. i dont know why it is especially irritating lately to drive past or be stopped next to a bus. ive started putting the windows up when that happens. i am constantly upping & downing my windows. and turning my music up and then down again. but. at schenley "beach" if i tune out the traffic, i can imagine the ocean existing where Oakland currently stands. Phipps is still there in my head, and CMU. but the rest of the city is gone. (I can do that in the car too...like flying around on Bethany Pike. The water is waaay down the hill.) PCH via Forbes Avenue.

(this is starting to look more like the normal columbo entries. although the grammar is much worse, it makes more sense. to my own head. i like the stream-of-consciousness approach. sometimes.)

Netflix for the weekend: Wristcutters & Rashomon. Last weekend, I finally watched Sunset Boulevard all the way through. Sadly, Norma Desmond reminded me way too much of an old Britney Spears. I'm surprised that hasn't come up somewhere. it seemed pretty obvious to me. billy wilder was on to something 60 years ago, BEFORE the crazy paparazzi crap that happens now. i dont really care much, just an interesting observation. it's too far removed from me for it to actually matter. like madonna and her african babies. or the war.

Pirates game tonight. I will be watching the Pens on the little tvs. i always love going to ball games. even when it is the stinkin' buccos. i dont want this blog to turn into a place where i rant everytime i dont feel like being at work. but this once i am going to say that i LOVE Fridays in the spring. in college i loved skipping all of my afternoon classes to sit outside on our deck at the house and drink beer. and drive around and smoke. That is what I miss about Bethany most of all. having a deck on the back of our house. NOT going to class. and drinking during the day. :) yeah...that sounds about right, dont you think?

Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica

I won't post the gruesome bits about the bear attack. I do think he's cute, though.

And, for the record, the bear is the animal i would LEAST want to be mauled by...

(damn, i just ruined the whole blog entry sequencing thing...ahh...)

Really, my day looks more like Bears, apples, The Office. but oh well. that's as close to Dwigt-ness as I want to get.

Anyway, I also wanted to clarify this gator story.

http://blogs.tampabay.com/breakingnews/2008/04/gator-spotted-i.html

Listen to the 911 call. It's freakin' hilarious.

Bear, Shark, or Alligator (or crocodile)??

I have instigated MANY conversations about this in the past few months...at bars all across the tri-state area...

IF you were to be mauled to death by one of the following animals, which would you pick?
Bear
Shark
Alligator/Croc.

and of course it follows, then, why? Which one would you NOT want to be killed by?

This week there have been news stories about a couple of these wild beasts. The bear from Semi-Pro killed his trainer. I haven't seen Semi-Pro yet, but if that bear is anything like the calm and democratic bear from Anchorman, I say Let Him Live! I have never been a fan of the death penalty, and ESPECIALLY not for celebrities!
Also, sometime recently, an 8 ft alligator crawled his (or her, i guess) way into the kitchen of a little old lady's florida condo. The lady didnt freak out or anything and animal control was able to escort the creepy dinosaur back out of her little old lady kitchen. But then they killed it. Apparently hungry 8ft reptiles (was going to insert an old people joke here, but wont) are not welcome at Shady Pines. Sayonara, Shannon. :)

Cool Thursday Things

After lunch I took a walk through PPG Place and Market Square. The fountain is finally on in PPG Place, a true sign that summer is on it's way. All the little kids were having a ball in the fountain, splashing and soaking themselves as parents, guardians, and strangers looked on. As I passed, I heard one little one yell, "I'M ALIIIVE!". I wonder what that was all about. Was the little kid imitating Frankenstein? Would a 5 year old kid know about that line? And wasn't it "it's alive"? The mad scientist referring to the massive monster? So was this little kid REALLY rejoicing and acknowledging his (or her) existence? Happy just to be playing in the sun...
Even if that's not really what the kid was talking about, I guess it's nice that I was forced to take a few minutes out of the middle of my day in the middle of a loud cranky stinking city to consider children & innocence & small pleasures.

That said...
will someone PLEASE remove the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition from the front counter at CVS?!?! God! I feel like I have been staring at that blonde lady's side-boob for months now. And WHY is it OK for that naked lady to be hanging out next to my chapstick and Altoids, and it's NOT OK for 30 Rock to use a phrase like MILF (Island) in an episode?! The show's ratings aren't that great to begin with (106th) despite it being one of the best television shows ever written. (Better than Seinfeld. There, I said it.) But seriously, how many little kids are watching that show and actually considering what a "MILF" is? Little kids would probably think that word is hilarious, anyway. 30 Rock was bumped out of NBC's "family hour" 8-9pm, and will now follow The Office. That one hour of television makes Thursdays OK with me.

Speaking of 30 Rock (which i always am, incessantly), Tina Fey and Amy Poehler were on The View today. (I need to get a life.) Tina Fey mentioned that Elizabeth Hasselbeck was the only host that had not yet been on 30 Rock. Elizabeth said she would love to appear on the show, and Tina, without hesitation, said "would you get in bed with Alec Baldwin?" AHHH! Elizabeth was so stunned she couldn't even answer yes or no (she was trying to convey annoyance, but you could tell she wanted to do it...what a republican). It was Perfect. It makes sooo much sense for Jack and Elizabeth to have a fling (or whatever), and I Love it that Tina went for it right there on the show!! Awesome.

My obituary should read

pediasure
pediasure
pediasure
pizza
pizza
pizza
pizza
pizza
ensure.