Chip is a real asshole.

I feel like I should write some positive things. After rereading my last several posts, I was surprised at how vague and dark they are. Unfortunately, I can't think of any kind of spiritual uplift I've experienced recently. No great hope. No lightness.
I can say that I am sick of waiting for that to change. What would make it change?
(Sidenote: Why do people insist on talking about the weather? What does that have to do with anything?)
Every so often I notice that I've moved to a new level of apathy. it's like Donkey Kong. only instead of trying to save the girl or whatever, i would just like to be able to reach the liquor on the top shelf.
what a crappy metaphor.
anyway, i suppose it's something that I would like to be ignited.
i can think of only a few ways that could happen and none of them are likely to any degree.
for once, i am going to be specific.
...I need a computer. I am dying to write something OTHER THAN this stupid douchebag blog. It's been years since I've done any fiction. I just want to put some time in to it...so that i can eventually come to the conclusion that I'm not supposed to write...so I can just forget about it and be done with it.
yes, that does make sense to me.
...i like a boy. he has curly brown hair. i see him once a year. he will never read this.
...i guess i'm going to get a summer job when i get back from my trip. give up some time (i have more than enough on my hands as it is)...make a little dough (i have none)...it's weird to say but i'm kind of looking forward to it. it would be nice to be exhausted for a reason (other than boredom).
Ok, so there it is. three things i think about. three things that are in no danger of happening. they just kind of hover. but there they are.