It's not that I don't like to do my work. It's that I like to do it at my own pace. I like to do a task, then have periods of nothing, then do another one , and so on... I know it's procrastinating...I prefer the word 'relaxed'. Today: do some insurance paperwork, read a few chapters of Chuck Klosterman's IV...prepare invoices, update my myspace page. eat a banana, balance petty cash.
Not to mention that it's Friday. 320pm. Im looking forward to a big bottle of wine and some fierce UNO competition tonight.
On a more serious note, I think I found something I kind of might believe in. I've had ideas about this subject since I was 11 or 12. An early age to consider something as complex as FATE. I wondered, without any kind of academic provocation, if things happen because they MUST...or is it like every decision opens up a new path...if you do this...this will follow. I'm not asking this question NOW. Those are things I thought about in 6th grade.
Twelve years later and that is still all I can think about. Today, at least. There have been other times in my life when people have insisted to me that "it's fate". we're "supposed" to be together...you were "meant" to blah blah blah. I never bought it.
There has only been one time in my life that FATE seemed apparent. I know this now because I ignored it. And it caught back up with me. Sort of.
There is something about 'right/wrong place at the right/wrong time'. (I dont know why but I always think of mobsters shooting each other when I hear that phrase.) Anyway, when you really think about it...THAT'S exactly right. You being...where you are...is a result of you being everywhere else you've ever been. You HAD to be there. In that spot. at THAT moment.
I guess the point Im trying to get to is that from my own personal standpoint, I think that maybe there is some kind of destiny or predestined event that one is supposed to experience...but you orchestrate the details. I dont really think i believe in (or like) the term "meant to be". But I'm just wondering how many times you have to be slapped in the face before you realize something is right in front of you. Or in California, as it were.
I am having a terrible time getting this out right now. People are talking to me about work stuff, and fucking sports shit, and TGIF and I just can't concentrate. I dont even know if this makes any sense at all. I guess the point is that my mind was blown today. And it was pretty awesome.
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