This one is going to be a doozy.

My thumbnail on my left hand is getting ready to break. I can see the crack on the one side. It's only a matter of time now.

For a minute there, I was gung-ho about the new year. I've picked a new hobby, I was going to start some things and end some things, and it was going to be great. I'm ready for it. 2009. Here we go.

Now I don't feel like it. I can't do another year of the same. And why wouldnt it be? I used to love the symbolism of it all. A fresh start...clean slate...blah blah blah.

I know that this is where I wanted to be. This is where I insisted on living. Of course, it is. I guess I am one of those awful people who only wants what she can't have. I am happy here, well, happy as I could be. But I have to admit, I do wonder when things will change. How does "change' happen? Why would anything ever change? I don't know. This is an awful time of year.

At least it's Friday. At least he told me on Friday. I should get out of work around 3pm. That means I can have a good buzz going by the time Bob comes home. Then she can drive to the bar. I'll be ok.

I am happy Pitchfork gave Fleet Foxes it's #1 of the year. I couldnt have agreed more.

"There's nothing I can say..."